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Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain...

If you, like me, are a fan of The Big Lebowski, then the title will mean something to you.

 

One of the things I have started to do recently is to take up invitations from my old theological college to occasional study days - it is always good to keep learning and reading - but one of the repeated events is over lunch where those still in training will be eager to hear what it is like when you have "passed over to the other side". There is a mix of either macho bravado or a look vaguely reminiscent of rabbits in headlights. I was there once, so I'm not knocking it.

I was talking to somebody recently who has gone back into parochial ministry after a time as chaplain in higher education. This form of ministry was, in his words, like a holiday.

Another recent conversation with somebody who, like me, was heavily involved in doing things in our Churches before ordination - and the difficult question arose

are we doing any more for the Kingdom of God now than before?

That certainly is an important question! The bric-a-brac of Church as institution and the potential for introspective cosiness in a group of people acts as a constant siren call, distracting us away from the course of our initial idealism.

Mote to follow...

How to know if you're the retiring kind...

Much discussion on the Today Programme and then articles on the BBC News site about the call for people to work beyond the current retirement ages, despite the fact that these ages are due to rise in the future to accommodate (or finance) an ageing pensionable population.

I guess the Church of England was built on an earlier model of work where the old, wise Clergyman would serenely end his days, quietly expiring in his musty cassock whilst sitting in his study over a glass of port and a George Herbert poem. But those days are well gone now.

I read somewhere a statement that went along the lines of 'the space shuttle uses 90% of its energy in the first 30 seconds of its flight' (if you know where this came from and whether it is true or not I would like to know). The degree of change management required in our present situation is simply enormous; multi-Parish Benefices, ageing congregations but the same base-load of 'must-do', and yet this is quite clearly the task to which our generation has been called, let's not make any bones about it. The sense of satisfaction and purpose for those times when it does work far outweigh the costs of creating the momentum of change.

But will I feel like this when I am 65 (or 66 or 67...etc)? I don't know. If the cost of making a change becomes more than my decaying faculties can sustain where would I turn for a satisfying ministry?

Pass me that port and book of poetry, will you...?

A serious question...

I have just taken a really poignant funeral for a family I have known for a while. One of those privileges that only comes along every once in a while. I got thinking on the way back in the car about funerals in general. This is meant to be a serious question, and not something to do with the family I was just working with. It is not meant to be flippant or disrespectful either.

I work hard at each and every funeral I take. I try to strike the right balance between the liturgical need (the various elements of the service which need to be addressed) and the families' emotional needs, and between the various requests for things in the service (poems or music etc) and trying to ensure that what is said or expressed has a suitability and dignity to it. I don't mind that - its part of the job.

In all the funerals I have done I think I could count the number of people on one hand for whom the funeral service or the care shown afterwards allowed them to feel comfortable to come to Church on a Sunday more than once. Generally, I would say, this has been something to do with people re-finding an earlier faith. They are more than welcome.

But I meet a lot of people for whom the "Church funeral" means that they do not come to Church. Sure, for one or two this is down to something the Vicar said or didn't let them do, but there are a huge number of people I come across for whom the memory of a particular person's funeral creates for them a barrier to coming regularly.

I am not so naive that I imagine many would come to Church because of the way I did a funeral, but it would be nice to be able to think that by hosting a service in Church we are not creating an emotional barrier to people coming back.

I don't know. What do you think?

Mistakes: will I ever learn?

There is some stuff which always seems to lead me into problems somewhere down the line. Problem is I can't help it.

I either feel really passionate about something or I don't - there is little middle ground. As a result I know I can give off the "I am bored" body language over something which I don't see as that important, or I feel so strongly about it I struggle to get it into words accurately, and this can lead to me saying something which can sound flippant. I don't mean to, its just the way I'm wired. I would rather be passionate than a wet fish...

I want people involved and so it is often hard for me to say "No" or to criticise, but also I think Churches need to understand that it is not just for the sake of the particular Church that they need to be more involved and share responsibility ("there are less Vicars than there used to be, so we have to do it instead otherwise this Church will close..."), but actually it is beneficial for the individual Christian's spiritual life to bear some responsibility, whether that is responsibility in terms of using their gifts or responsibility in terms of realising the outcomes of their actions. It is vital, therefore, that space is made for individuals to move into - leadership space and worship leading space and expressing opinion space, but the model from industry that those Churches that are (in some way) "successful" seem to give is that if the strong dynamic individual leader who is at the front for just about everything and I think my style is therefore somehow seen as "weak". I would rather be encouraging of others than a control freak...

Dog tired...

...a strange phrase (if you've ever owned a dog, that is).

It implies being worn out by events or effort, whereas our dog does naff all every day, but lies in his bed sleeping happily away as if there's no tomorrow. I suppose he might be up most of the night watching QVC or dating channels on freeview for all we know.

I reckon I have still only had one decent sleep since Christmas with catarrh, coughs, and a sore throat having a very efficient rota system going for waking me up and keeping me that way. I could come downstairs, but then I would disturb the dog sleeping (or watching tv).

Some big stuff coming my way which is now in the public domain, so there needs to be some thinking, planning and reassuring to be done.

I had some interesting conversations today with a Headteacher (who operates a split site), again over this whole issue of managing change and yet being distant from the work-face because of geography. Lots to think and pray about - I need to see whether I can make this into something worth working through at the upcoming PCC Away Day.

Bully for you!

A lot of heat seems to be being generated at the moment of 'Toxic'-gate; a Union gets involved and a Vicar's wife gives her side of a different situation.

Sure, bullying exists in the Church - because it is part of the personal interaction of people as people, and there are a lot of people with agendas (this in their view supersede a person) or with the expectation that they wield power (normally because they don't have much power of their own and Church is an easy place to be a big cheese) - oh, the permutations are infinite.

The big question (and probably the reason you're reading) is - have I ever been bullied? (Go on, name and shame and pull out an anecdote that gets everybody sympathising).

I think it quite possible that there are some folk around who feel that I have bullied them. I have never done this intentionally (I would hate to think that I actually have done this - honest) but one persons urgent needs can feel to another as a thing being pushed upon them against their will. If so - I am sorry.

One form of bullying being referred to is that of the Diocesan hierarchy 'bullying' a Clergyperson. I'm sure it happens when there is a burning issue to be resolved which is then added to the Priests already full workload. At the Diocesan level there tends to be a split between the Pastoral Episcopate and the Archdeacon (described often as the Bishop's business manager), whereas at the local level there's only me. Some local issues can be deeply rooted and tremendously difficult to disentangle, and the spleen will be vented most forcefully at the local face of the Church hierarchy - the Vicarage door (or the Church door). I have experienced requesting a conversation with the hierarchy and booking an appointment, only to find that after a few minutes the discussion had changed into a wider one about the local area. That wider issue was important, but my personal distress which caused me to request the meeting was not adequately recognised - had the local issue been different then I could imagine coming away from that meeting feeling taken for granted and, dare I say it, bullied.

Another reported type of bullying is that of the locals ganging up on the Vicar for some reason. Again I have been very fortunate and have few horror stories to relate. However there is a pressure - to do all the good things one predecessor did PLUS do all the things they didn't do much better. Thus the expectation of keeping everything on the road that has always been on the road, plus a multitude of new things can grind even a cheerful chap down. Very few people in Churches are willing to take a lead in making sacrifices by giving up their thing, and some changes can be resisted pretty vehemently.

We live in an uncomfortable age when change is being thrust upon each and every Clergyperson, Parish and Parishioner, and the resistance to change can be strongly felt. Inevitably people on all sides will feel hurt, misunderstood and let down - but the God's call is upon all of us to be His People for this next generation. The problem in my view is the number of Clergy who have avoided these issues for too long and created a false and unsustainable sense of comfort and security for little St. Whotnots on the Marsh with its beautiful 14th Century tower etc. etc. 

Information as currency

I have in my possession one substantial piece of information. It isn't something I have done or sought. It does effect me and others around me, but I understood it to be embargoed for another few days, except for those on a 'need to know basis'. As such I have kept this info to myself and those I have felt it important to tell - because it impinges on a decision that needs to be made, for example.

Very interesting to hear the jungle drums gain momentum. Clearly some people are discussing it openly around the place. People who don't normally suddenly want to stop me for 'a chat', a phone number this morning (I missed the call) but they never normally ring me - I wonder why?

Perhaps it gives us a sense of identity or even importance to be one of those 'in the know', so that ones opinion can already be formed when the news break.

I don't know. I don't like 'secrets'. I like information being used a currency even less.

I am also not sure why the Church has got into this ridiculous scenario imagining any news it might have is so earth-shattering that announcements need to be synchronised.

A zillionth attempt to be more organised

I imagine it is not an untypical scenario to arrive in a Parish and find an absolute HEAP of papers and notes. I have lost the will to shred any more of these and I still have a filing cabinet in the garage stuffed with documents as well as numerous ring binders. The truth is that it is less effort and a lower risk NOT to throw anything away...

But, let's take a step back for a moment and consider what papers are actually necessary to be kept.

There is financial information

• my expenses claims (and receipts etc that go with them)
• fees information

and there is Parish Record information

• the legal stuff about weddings and registers
• burial certificates and requests for headstones
• I keep a copy of anything to do with a funeral in case I have to go and do the ashes so I have a single stapled pack with names, orders of service and any poems etc on
• CRB information as far as who has been given a form and who needs to be given one, as well as the letter from the Diocese about acceptances

and there is general business stuff

• copies of recent minutes of meetings (obviously for ongoing business information) - not forgetting that it is the Secretary or Clerk's job to retain the originals of minutes of meetings
• things like Baptism Applications
• photocopier paper box lids within which papers go until I've decided I can throw them away

and some way of storing those documents that have a limited shelf life

• ongoing funerals and weddings
• music for the next quarter
• the forms which show you how to divvy up any fees, and so forth

I use my calendar (on-line and automatically synced with my phone) to record as much other information as I can and I use a database linked with my calendar (and also synced with my phone) for holding all the information about Occasional Offices.

Anything I've forgotten? Such a short list makes me wonder why the filing cabinet in the garage was ever filled up in the first place!

Praying for patience!

With several vacancies arising in local significant Churches there is a sense that there is a once in a generation opportunity to restructure the whole Deanery. Inevitably this means change, which is never a popular topic in Church circles. A meeting tonight for representatives of Churches from across the area will now have to discuss a little more detail in a document which has been batting around for a while, but previously has been easy to ignore when given some distant future time scale - sadly the moment is now upon us.

So I am praying for patience because it is in these situations that issues and needs are discussed with Clergy present, but at which Clergy are frequently overlooked in all this - as if somehow changing boundaries or responsibilities doesn't effect us in any way.

There is a bit of a buzz caused by a Times article concerning a Parish in Canterbury Diocese who are being asked to pay £40K+ for a part-time House for Duty Priest. The question is asked

How can a part-timer possibly do newsletters, chair two boards of school governors, do house visits and everything else required for four busy parishes?

which invites the reciprocal statement

if that's what your Priest is thought of as being asked to do then no wonder we are all in the pickle we seem to be in.

My prayer for patience is about 12 hours too late as I was button-holed by a retired senior Clergyman last night who bewailed the state of things. I wanted to tell him not to blame my generation for this, but possibly to look closer to home...

Fresh Expressions and Pioneering Ministry...and Traditional Church too

It does feel as if Society and Ministry have changed quite dramatically in the very brief time since my time at college. As if everybody would still be talking about The Matrix and Losing My Religion...

I thought Mission-Shaped Church was a breath of fresh air, even if it was an incomplete work in lots of ways, and is only just catching up with expressing itself in language that others within the Church of England can relate.

A slightly frustrating debate at Synod yesterday, because there seems to be something about Fresh Expressions that causes some people to be quite happy to expose their ignorance. We got a bit stuck on whether if Exhibit A is a Fresh Expression of Church, does that make Exhibit B a Stale Expression of Church, and then (without even considering whether something that a group of people do on a Sunday morning is even a Vague Expression of Church - come on if Church is the people then there has to be something defining about who they are or what they do!) non-Fresh Expressions of Church became Mature Expressions of Church.

We then got side-tracked onto the issue of money (Fresh Expressions always cost money, whereas you could have been mistaken for thinking that Traditional Church came for free) and enculturation (an Expression of Church in, say, a Cafe is de facto sold out to contemporary culture, whereas an Expression of Church that is, for all intents and purposes, identical to attending a classical concert isn't) - "we are incarnate, they are enculturated".

These bugbears were more than made up for by the preceding three presentations - 

the Children and Family worker in Devizes

the Missional Community growing in Poole Town Centre

the Project in Weymouth that is always portrayed as being about Street Pastors, but (as Tony showed) is a lot more

Lots in these that struck real chords with me about what I need to spend more time doing. Mission, community and being outside Church - but also lots about what Church should be like. I particularly liked the phrase about Church needing to find itself as the place where people can come and be themselves.

Several comments focussed on the difficulty in additional workload required by Fresh Expressions of Church, but I think there has to be a response to this that Traditional Church will happily consume 110% of all available resources given it, so we need to be honest about priorities. There will never be space to add something like this on.

I think it was Bishop Graham Cray who then said that he envisaged the majority of Fresh Expressions of Church to be Lay led, but I think unless (in Anglican contexts) Clergy get involved in at least the start - permission, boundaries, priorities, theological reflection and so forth, then (in Anglican contexts at least) it ain't going to happen.